Your Kids Don't Run Your House. Neither Does Your Ex
Hey friend! 🤍
I'm going to say something that might ruffle a few feathers today.
Your kids don't run your house. And neither does your ex.
There. I said it.
Now, before anyone starts typing an angry response, hear me out. 😉
One of the biggest challenges I see in blended families is that everybody seems to have a say in how the household operates.
The kids have opinions about the rules.
The ex has opinions about how things should be done.
One parent feels guilty about the divorce, so they're afraid to enforce boundaries.
And the other parent is standing there wondering when exactly they lost their vote in their own home.
Sound familiar?
Here's the thing.
Everyone in your family deserves a voice. But not everyone gets a vote.
Especially when it comes to the decisions that belong to you and your spouse.
When Justus and I blended our 10 kids, we made a conscious decision that our home was going to operate as ONE family.
Not his kids versus my kids.
Not one set of rules when certain kids were home and another when they weren't.
And definitely not a household where decisions were dictated by what someone outside our marriage thought we should do.
We established something I now teach as one of the foundational principles of The Just Us Method.
INSIDE OUR WALLS.
What happens inside our home is governed by the values, expectations, and boundaries we've established together.
That doesn't mean kids don't have feelings or opinions. Of course they do! And those feelings deserve to be heard.
It doesn't mean you ignore agreements or refuse to cooperate with your children's other parent, either.
But there's a difference between healthy communication and handing over authority in your own household.
Your kids can have feelings about a decision without being responsible for making it.
Your ex can have opinions about your household without having authority over every decision inside it.
And YOU can set boundaries without feeling guilty for having them.
Here's where I want you to start this week.
THE JUST US CHALLENGE 🤍
Sit down with your spouse and ask each other:
-
Where are we allowing guilt, outside opinions, or fear of upsetting someone to influence our household decisions?
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Are we making decisions together, or are we each trying to keep our own people happy?
-
What is ONE boundary we need to establish to protect the family we're building?
And remember, being united doesn't mean you always agree.
It means you're committed to figuring things out together.
Because at the end of the day...
Your home isn't a democracy. But it shouldn't be a dictatorship either.
It's a family.
And families thrive when the adults lead with love, consistency, and a shared vision.
Not guilt. Not fear. And definitely not whoever happens to be the loudest that day. 😂
Talk soon!
Chantelle 🤍
The Just Us Method
